Inspired by the slow moods manifesto http://slowmoodmovement.wordpress.com/manifesto/
After many years away, I am beginning the process of revisiting this blog, starting with my highly sensitive person parenting manifesto.
Relearning how to sense is not an easy process. But I can say, that I feel much richer and fulfilled today than ever before. I have learned to see life through the lens of HSP and I have learned how to listen to myself and my environment through my senses. Trauma seems inherent to deep change. I have been away from this research because I needed to step away in order to quietly sit with and eventually heal from traumas that emerged during this process of rediscovery. For an HSP, it may take a very long time to heal from trauma. It took me 6 years. In this process, I have learned that trauma is just part of life. Perhaps part of maturing is understanding how to go through trauma and integrate it in our ways of knowing. To sit with the pain and eventually to flow with and through it. To let the pain take us where we need to go. Trauma can help us positively disintegrate at the edges of pain in order to rebuild ourselves, and better integrate our negative and positive dispositions. Finally, to trust that we will release traumatic pain when ready.
As our collective media consciousness seems to be moving deeper into a toxic abyss of dysfunctions (from post truths, environmental hysteria, social media shouting, to consumerist denial), it seems even more important for me to ground myself in my sensibility. To remember that the journey is the treasure. To savor the vibrancy of life and decay. To enjoy the subtle details my senses bring to my attention. To choose a perspective of spirit and unfocus the toxic chatter that is irrelevant to my life.
My role as a parent is morphing. It is increasingly about helping my children understand that life is not about seeking happiness or completeness, but freedom. And that sensory awareness and literacy can help us reach deeper inner levels of liberation, agency, and free will that can come from a much more subtle understanding of reality. When I chose to free myself from my own chains, my life began to change. I had to re-examine many aspects of my own life – my relationships, my environments, and my workplaces – shedding as much as possible the shallow vails of denial.
In a culture obsessed with speed, I had learned to ignore myself in order to cope. I numbed myself to deny the reality of my toxic life. I believe that addiction, consumerism, saviors, codependency and many of our belief systems subject us to unwanted power relations that rob us of the learning opportunities we need to understand how to overcome obstacles for ourselves.
So I am revisiting my manifesto, I need it to help me in hard times, in moments when making decisions that go off the traditional path scare me and in times when doubt creeps in. I am happy to say, these are becoming fewer as time progress.
Here goes the revised version:
This blog documents my exploration of the role of the senses in a highly sensitive person’s perception of the world. My aim is to cultivate in me and by osmoses in my children a different practice of selfhood which integrates sensorial, mental, emotional, physical, social and spiritual health. My kids learn by observing my actions, not by listening to my worlds. I must let them witness my search for a balanced lifestyle.
Inspired by the Slow Food and the Slow Moods Movements, I reject loudness of ideas and busy-ness. I am slowing down because life is too important to rush through. I seek to move in the subtleness of flow instead of being carried away by the superficial and artificial toxic rush. I seek to eliminate as much as possible from my environment noisy disruptions that bully me into ignoring myself by demanding instantaneous reactions from my ego. I am looking for the mental stillness that lets my senses speak and lets me listen to them in order to be aware of my spirit, move and act in the world with more subtlety and sensibly. So, I aim to reduce as much as possible fast foods, fast moods, fast friends, fast passions, fast fixes, fast solutions from my life.
I now understand that it is essential for me to help my children learn to slow down, broaden their senses and as a consequence their broad attention in order to develop the tools needed to make healthy decisions for themselves, their communities, and their world.