I’m determined to know my kids better than my mom cared to know me and my siblings. So I’m studying personality informally. It’s partly because I have children like me, bright and sensitive, but since I didn’t have great coping skills, I didn’t have any idea how to teach them good self-calming skills. I learned about emotional self-regulation in my human development class, and how children as they grow they are supposed to learn to self-regulate and self-soothe. I had no idea that this wasn’t an inevitable part of cognitive maturation. For dd1, it was pretty effortless. She just always was pretty even keel. Just like her father, who my mother-in-law always said he was “37 on the day he was born”.